Back in the day

I didn't write this, but I wish I had. It's just so true. Enjoy.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways .. yadda, yadda, yadda… And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked!! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Sunday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!



This is from Serious Magic's (now Adobe's) DV Rack software. Usually these things are boring to read, but this has to be the most entertaining readme file I've ever seen...

Oh, good.... You're reading this file. You are indeed a wise person who takes direction well. Blessings be upon you!


All the captured video clips in this folder (and any subfolders in it) must remain unmodified and exactly where they are for DV Rack to fully and properly function. You see, DV Rack has an internal Database that puts the clips here and this Database bloody well expects them to still be here the next time it comes around looking for them. Pay attention because this Database has a personality much like the deity figure in some religions (say, Pan or Loki). It is a singularly temperamental, unforgiving, and capricious Database Deity. It knows how to Smite and, trust us, you don't want any smiting going on around your clips. The only way to make the Database Deity cranky is to mess with the clips it puts here in this one folder.

Editing, deleting, or renaming these clips will result in inexplicable, random, and very likely BAD and NAUGHTY behavior on the part of DV Rack. No kidding, this normally elegant and refined software will start acting like a petulant three-year-old who is hours past nappy time and just had its ice cream taken away. No one wants that! So PLEASE do not perform any of these actions on any clips in this folder. However, if DV Rack is not running, you can use Windows to copy of one or more clips in this folder to somewhere else on your hard drive (outside the DV Rack folders). But don't even THINK about ever putting them back here.

The instant, easy, proper (and painless) way to get your clutches on these clips is to first use the magic "Eject" button in the DVR. DV Rack will graciously take the clips from the evil clutches of the Database and put them next door, over in the "Ejected Clips" folder. Life is easy over there. No rules. No consequences. No three-year-olds.

So remember, don't touch the clips unless they're in the "Ejected Clips" folder or the "Garbage Clips" folder. If you do, don't come crying to us like a three-year-old who just had its ice cream taken away. You have been warned...

The DV Rack Team Thanks You For Your Most Benevolent Cooperation

I'd read more readme's if they were like this one.


The Perfect Evening?

Surely none of us have ever used these lines with our significant others. Be sure to listen closely to the words...

[ht The Wonderful Noise]


Kool-Aid in the dishwasher?

Lifehacker had an interesting link today. Apparently you can put lemon Kool-Aid in your dishwasher to clean out the mineral deposits. The red Kool-Aid is not recommended.

Who does this kind of stuff? Who sits around all day wondering what kind of weird things can we do with lemon Kool-Aid? How many small applicances have to be sacrificed in the experiments? Just curious...

I guess the bigger question is "How come lemon Kool-Aid will clean your dishwasher, but not your dishes?"

[ht: Lifehacker]


Does it work?

Something has been bothering me about Easter this year. I have difficult question to ask of other church leaders. Yea, I know, Easter is over - give it rest. This is the last post on Easter - I promise (well, until next year).

Many churches pull out ALL the stops for Easter. They do up it big. Video, drama, music, dance, etc. It's probably the most produced service of the year. Now there is no doubt that Easter is an important event for Christians to remember. But sometimes it seems like we go overboard on this event. It's crazy huge.

The reason I often hear given for such a big event is, "many people come this week and we have capture their attention so they will come back." Ok, I can go with that, but here is where the question comes....

Does it work? How many of these people who only come on Easter come back the following weeks? Really, I want to know.

Suppose someone wanders in to your church on Easter. The service is perfect in every way. They are really touched. They vow to come back next week and they do. What will they see and experience? I'm betting in most of our churches there would be a serious difference between Easter and the next week. Now there's nothing wrong with having a big day or celebration. Chances are the birthdays in our homes are different than the non-birthdays. That's cool. But does the big event work? Will the person feel cheated because the next week's service isn't the same huge event?

A very smart man (Albert Einstien) is quoted as saying "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Yet each Easter we just about kill ourselves, and the other volunteers and staff, to reach all these people who will pack out the church, but it must not work. Because the next week where are all the people? It just seems to me that we are doing something incorrectly here. Our method doesn't seem to be working... Is it working at your church?

Now, just for the record. Our church doesn't do the huge, huge Easter service. We try to have a nice service. Well done. A few extra features, but it's more inline with a 'regular' service - whatever that means. Is the big event working for you at your church? From my local friends at other churches, I'd say not. But I'd like to hear some other opinions. BTW, if it's working for you - then PRAISE GOD! Keep doing what you are doing!!!


What is Easter anyway?

As you are probably well aware, the 15 British sailors and marines were released by the Iranian government today. Naturally, I am very happy to see a peaceful resolution to the situation.

But did you notice what Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad gave as part of the reason for the decision to release them?
"On the occasion of the birthday of the great prophet (Muhammad) ... and for the occasion of the passing of Christ ..." he said, referring to the Muslim prophet's birthday last Saturday and Easter, next Sunday.

Easter is not a rememberance of the passing of Christ, it's the resurrection. I wonder if that was a slip of his tongue, an intentional swipe at Christian beliefs or just ignorance of what Christian's believe. I'll probably never know which one it was.

I wonder how many people have no idea what Easter is really about. Is it colored eggs? Freaky bunnies? Strange indestructable candy peeps? That seems to be what the holiday is all about.

I wonder how many people know what Easter is really about?

I guess the real question, is how many people am I going to tell?


Interesting Guitar

Pretty cool work. Hopefully he will use his talent for things other than the Mario Brothers theme song.